Today I wanted to talk a little about positivity.
During the past 10 years I have been trying to lose weight. I didn't care about where that weight was coming from, just as long as the number on the scales was getting smaller.
I would do this for short periods of time and get so worked up about it, so motivated that I was going to get skinny.
I would drink slim shakes, eat nothing but a banana and yoghurt for breakfast or a bowl of Special K, deprive myself all the while trying to convince myself that for doing so I would be better than all those people who were eating crap and sitting on their butts doing nothing.
Now that I am in a place in my life where for the first time I can honestly say that I have a positive relationship with food. I can see that all those past attempts at weight loss were driven from negative emotions. I. was destined to fail.
Who wants to spend their life feeling like they're missing out? Like they have to work hard JUST to try and be better than someone else? To lose weight so that you can prove others wrong?
I think Baz Luhrmann said it best in his song 'sunscreen'. "Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind…the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with
yourself".
I recommend anyone trying to better themselves in anyway shape or form, be it physically, mentally, at a hobby, a sport, at work... Take a step back and think hard about why you're trying to reach your goal.
For me this has been a long evolving relationship with food that has blossomed. I love my food and my food loves me back. It makes me feel good, it gives me energy, it's transforming my body into the one I've always wanted and I'm finally doing it for me.
I can for the first time see my body as an instrument that will give me what I want if I give it what it needs. I'm no longer interested in weight loss, but in health. And I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't dropped the negativity.
Minnie
xXx
